Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis talks sex
Expectations can be scary when talking about sex. How much does one really want to know about the sexual preferences, habits and perspectives of others, especially when they deviate from the norm?
Young Benoit Denizet-Lewis, a Frenchman/Californian, is not afraid. In fact, he’s eager to share and learn. A writer for The New York Times Magazine, Jane, Salon and more, he’s pursued stories about teenage promiscuity and bisexuality; married black men on “the Down Low,” i.e. having homosexual sex; gay men and lesbians defying their norms; and even the angst of living on a street called Gay. They are stories of the 21st century. Are you ready for this?
Denizet-Lewis argues that journalism cannot confine itself to stories about pedophilia and sexual predators it if seeks to provide a holistic picture of sexuality in America. His stories are as captivating and important as any Nightline news broadcast, so his point is well taken. Especially shocking are his findings on teenage sex, which, by his accounts, does not mirror the innocent wonderings remembered by past generations. Aided by the Internet and increased freedom of expression, our youngest may be sexually sharper than we.
“We’ve got 12-year-olds masturbating to Internet pornography….” he said. “There’s no real intimacy. I think there is real damage that happens there.”
One interpretation is that teenagers are more flippant and dismissive of healthy sexual habits. Denizet-Lewis found that adolescent women are seeking sexual relationships without emotional attachments – in one form, this means meeting partners on the Internet exclusively for sex – which any woman with experience knows is often an empty, painful road. Internet porn provides more salacious content than former Playboy addicts can imagine…and increasingly difficult standards for young women to meet. And please don’t pigeonhole yourself to a particular sexual preference. It’s so uncool.
Can these youth successfully disregard everything we understand about healthy sexual relationships in perpetuity? Denizet-Lewis doesn’t comment. He’s certainly expecting a sexual revolution, led by America’s non-conformist youth, which shuns labels and, perhaps, intimacy. On its flip side, it’s helping gay adolescents avoid the closet.
Any parent who is privy to Denizet-Lewis’ writing experience should infer an important message: Talk to your children about sex and about the Internet. Denizet-Lewis’ weekend workshop about addiction should also encourage parents to arrange a conversation about drugs. Is encouraging abstinence a fruitful pursuit? Maybe, but it certainly can’t stand alone. Parents need to get a better grip on what their children are accessing and be upfront early about the dangers of risky behavior. Baseline knowledge of condoms and birth control are essential, as is the joy of warm, trusting relationships. For more information on Mr. Denizet-Lewis, visit http://benoitlewis.com/.
Young Benoit Denizet-Lewis, a Frenchman/Californian, is not afraid. In fact, he’s eager to share and learn. A writer for The New York Times Magazine, Jane, Salon and more, he’s pursued stories about teenage promiscuity and bisexuality; married black men on “the Down Low,” i.e. having homosexual sex; gay men and lesbians defying their norms; and even the angst of living on a street called Gay. They are stories of the 21st century. Are you ready for this?
Denizet-Lewis argues that journalism cannot confine itself to stories about pedophilia and sexual predators it if seeks to provide a holistic picture of sexuality in America. His stories are as captivating and important as any Nightline news broadcast, so his point is well taken. Especially shocking are his findings on teenage sex, which, by his accounts, does not mirror the innocent wonderings remembered by past generations. Aided by the Internet and increased freedom of expression, our youngest may be sexually sharper than we.
“We’ve got 12-year-olds masturbating to Internet pornography….” he said. “There’s no real intimacy. I think there is real damage that happens there.”
One interpretation is that teenagers are more flippant and dismissive of healthy sexual habits. Denizet-Lewis found that adolescent women are seeking sexual relationships without emotional attachments – in one form, this means meeting partners on the Internet exclusively for sex – which any woman with experience knows is often an empty, painful road. Internet porn provides more salacious content than former Playboy addicts can imagine…and increasingly difficult standards for young women to meet. And please don’t pigeonhole yourself to a particular sexual preference. It’s so uncool.
Can these youth successfully disregard everything we understand about healthy sexual relationships in perpetuity? Denizet-Lewis doesn’t comment. He’s certainly expecting a sexual revolution, led by America’s non-conformist youth, which shuns labels and, perhaps, intimacy. On its flip side, it’s helping gay adolescents avoid the closet.
Any parent who is privy to Denizet-Lewis’ writing experience should infer an important message: Talk to your children about sex and about the Internet. Denizet-Lewis’ weekend workshop about addiction should also encourage parents to arrange a conversation about drugs. Is encouraging abstinence a fruitful pursuit? Maybe, but it certainly can’t stand alone. Parents need to get a better grip on what their children are accessing and be upfront early about the dangers of risky behavior. Baseline knowledge of condoms and birth control are essential, as is the joy of warm, trusting relationships. For more information on Mr. Denizet-Lewis, visit http://benoitlewis.com/.
# posted by Mia @ 3:49 PM 
